“Time limits are good things. No matter how good a dancer you are, you must leave the stage”
- Patrick Lumumba
I’ve heard this quote thrown around most of my life, especially concerning politicians in Africa. We often talk about why it's important for people to know when their time to step down has come and that it is better to do so while still at the height of one’s glory because clinging on beyond what is necessary can quickly bury one’s earlier achievements, tainting them with the mistakes and errors that come with overstaying. We’ve seen this happen, with freedom fighters turning into villains and tyrants despite being earlier praised as heroes.
While we aren’t all politicians and dancers, we still somewhat exist as performers. We need the wisdom of a good dancer to know when we need to gracefully enter or bow out of different life’s stages. I’ve recently been challenged with making that decision, and I must say, recognising that one’s allocated song is coming to an end and that shoes must be hung soon, can be quite daunting. As I prepare to hang my shoes, I thought to share some lessons I’ve learnt in this dance.
- The dance is not over until the song has come to an end
I, like many other people, can sometimes feel anxiety when an end or a transition is near. That realisation can come in the middle of the song and quickly turn my focus away from the current and next steps in the dance to what the end looks like, how the stage exit will be, what awaits beyond this dance and whether there will be other dances. All these intrusive thoughts steal away from the present, creating hyperfocus on an inevitable future. The end is coming, but surely that cannot be what steals the joy of the current moment. Focus on the dance that is still ongoing. Move to the beat. Feel the tune and try not to lose yourself in the end that has not yet arrived. This anxiety can be crippling and its effects could be what turn what started as a glorious performance into a poor one. Where what might be remembered are those out-of-beat last moments. Until the song comes to an end, the dance must continue
- Leaving the stage is necessary to open space for a new act
Sometimes we wonder why people don’t just leave the stage when they become aware of the necessity of doing so. I truly believe we all have an internal rhythm tracker that notifies us when the song is coming to an end. But for many people, the fear of change, obsessive attachments and overidentification with the current song and stage will make it near impossible for them to get off the stage. And what does that mean? No new acts get the chance to show their dance.
Each new dancer is unique, carrying with them a special song, and some new moves. Once we realise that, we not only see the value in our own dance but the dance of the next act. We don’t desire to deprive the audience of this new dancer and we happily usher them in, allowing them the space under the spotlight just as the previous dancer did for us. We see the entire show as more than just about one person, but as a synergy of different songs, and different dances.
Each unique, each necessary and each carrying its own magic.
- There will be other stages and songs to dance to, but you can’t dance to them all at the same time
Why do some dancers refuse to leave the stage? Because they are shackled by a mindset of scarcity. They see this dance as one they can’t let go of, but simultaneously fear its ending and therefore attempt to dance to 3 or 4 or 5 other tunes at the same time. In reality, every dance comes to an end. But a good dancer knows that it would be preposterous to try and dance them all at the same time. A good dancer knows where to focus their energy and is willing to let go of one dance to give enough energy and attention to another. For what disaster it would be for one to attempt a salsa and a breakdance at the same time.
We are on stage every day, in different ways. And we must always remember, that how we enter the stage is just as important as how we perform and just as important as how we exit it. Think of everything in this way and you will rumba through life with inexplicable grace.
